30 Days of TØP in a Couple Days (Revisited)

        Back in August of 2018 I did a thing I came across online. Each day there was a different question related to Twenty One Pilots. I just did all the questions at once and posted my answers over the course of two days. These posts can be found here:

https://whateveriwant7.blogspot.com/2018/08/30-days-of-tp-in-couple-days-pt-1.html

https://whateveriwant7.blogspot.com/2018/08/30-days-of-tp-in-couple-days-pt-2.html

        I've decided it'd be fun to redo these questions 7 years and 4 albums later and reflect on my past answers.

        I've decided to just chuck them all in one blog post instead of separating them like last time.

1. Favorite song

        Current Answer: Trees

        Past Answer: Migraine

        Commentary: Good take from me. Migraine has been my 2nd favorite song behind Trees for as long as I can remember now. We'll see where Migraine ends up on my tier list this time around, but Trees remains king.

2. First song I heard

                    

        Current Answer: Same as before

        Past Answer: I wasn't sure, but A Car, A Torch, A Death is probably my earliest memory because the ringing noise stuck with me

        Commentary: Yeah, as noted in the previous post, Hannah is, ofc, what got me into Twenty One Pilots. So my first time hearing a lot of Self-Titled, Vessel, and Blurryface was hearing Hannah listen to them, so my first song could have been anything (well, not Blurryface. Hannah was listening to them before Blurryface came out).

3. Last song I listened to

        Current Answer: One Way (with Days Lie Dormant currently playing as I type this) [Note: This answer is from about a month and a half ago when I first wrote this]

        Past Answer: Taken by Sleep

        Commentary: Deep pull from past me. I really should listen to No Phun intended more.

4. Are you a fan?

        Current Answer: Same as before, haha.

        Past Answer: Yes? I am confused by the intent of this question. Anyone who actually does this is probably a fan.

        Commentary: Curious if there was some deeper meaning to this in some form that I may never know.

5. Favorite song off Blurryface

        Current Answer: The Judge, and it's not close nowadays

        Past Answer: Not Today

        Commentary: Not Today has definitely been top 3 from the album for me for a long time, so this doesn't surprise me. Curious if it'll stay that way this upcoming tier list. Even if it ends up as 2nd fav from Blurryface, The Judge is just a tier above it and everything else from the album imo.

6. Favorite song off Vessel

        Current Answer: Trees

        Past Answer: Migraine

        Commentary: Same commentary as question 1. I love Vessel so much.

7. Favorite song off Regional at Best

        Current Answer: Kitchen Sink

        Past Answer: Kitchen Sink

        Commentary: My feelings on many songs on Regional at Best have changed quite a bit throughout the years (aka, I've been liking the songs less and less), but I've always had a love for Kitchen Sink.

8. Favorite song off Self-Titled

        Current Answer: Taxi Cab, and it's not close nowadays

        Past Answer: Friend, Please

        Commentary: Friend, Please is a powerful song that I love. I had a friend in high school this song would (and still does) make me think of. I'm curious how much this song was elevated by that fact. The song is meaningful to me now, but it was even more so back then.

9. Favorite song off No Phun Intended

        Current Answer: Drown

        Past Answer: Blasphemy

        Commentary: Man, only have 5 albums to listen to instead of now 9 made it a lot easier to get around to listening to No Phun intended. Trying to answer this question was a big reason why I finally made a NPI Tier List recently. During that process, I decided Drown is my favorite with Blasphemy in 2nd place.

        

(Going to chuck these in here even though I don't have past answers to them in case I redo this 5 years down the line or something)

9a Fav song from Trench

        Morph

9b Fav song from Scaled and Icy

        Formidable

9c Fav song from Clancy

        Vignette

9d Fav song from Breach

        I think I've finally settled on Downstairs being my favorite from the album, but I haven't officially ranked them, so we'll see if this opinion is true once my updated tier list comes out.

10. Underrated song?

        Current Answer: I was cooking with my past answer. Same as before.

        Past Answer: The Pantaloon? I'm not quite sure

        Commentary: So 7 years ago I hadn't ever really looked at the general fanbase's opinions. It wasn't actually until just a couple months ago that I started looking at other people's tierlists. And sooo many people really don't like The Pantaloon; people just really don't like Tyler's vocals I guess. But I've always loved The Pantaloon and still do so to this day. So The Pantaloon is my pick.

11. Overrated song

        Current Answer: Drag Path

        Past Answer: House of Gold

        Past Commentary: I love the song and I've been liking it more recently and it may climb up the ranks (when I get to redoing those), but I still think people like it too much. Ex. Ben and Thomas have it in their top 5/10

        Commentary: House of Gold totally makes sense for my pick; after doing a music video on it, it dropped in my rankings. It's come up somewhat since then, but is still lower than what it used to be at. Vs (as referenced) Ben and Thomas who loved the song a lot.

        Okay okay: Drag Path. The opinions I've been seeing are people putting this into their top 5's, including SKR (my favorite TØP youtuber) putting it at his top 1. My current theory: I've just got a small sample size that all happened to agree. Because golly, this song ain't even top 5 in the album. It's good, don't get me wrong. But top 5 all time? I say nay to that.

12. Song that has the most meaning to me?

        Current Answer: Trees

        Past Answer: Holding On To You

        Past Commentary: This question is brutal. I feel like Holding On To You? Simply because of that one rap that's my favorite rap of all time and it means so much to me [I then quoted the rap, but I won't do so here. The one that starts, "Remember the moment You know exactly where you're going"]

        Commentary: Holding On To You is a fantastic pick, and I think it's probably still in my top 5 nowadays. Trees takes the spot this time. Tally is up there as well.

13. Do you know when Tyler's Birthday is?

        Current Answer: Yes, December 1st, same as my Sister

        Past Answer: Yes, December 1st.

        14. Do you know when Josh's birthday is?

        Current Answer: No, sorry Josh. Although I blame my sister sharing a birthday with Tyler for why I remember his.

        Past Answer: I'm pretty sure it's in June. The 27th? 17th?

I looked it up and it's on June 18th, so I was close. I got the month right, at least.

        Commentary: Wow, I'm surprised I got so close to that last time.

15. Favorite TØP cover?

        Current Answer: Lowkey Mad World

        Past Answer: Cancer

        Commentary: I realize Can't Help Falling In Love is just straight up their best cover, but alas, my current pick is Mad World. I used to love the Cancer cover a lot more than I do now, so that pick checks out.

16. Song I wished was played on the radio

        Current Answer: I swear I thought this before reading my past answer, hahaha: "Golly if Migraine came on the radio, I would POP OFF."

        Past Answer: I don't know all the songs that are played on the radio since I don't listen to the radio a whole bunch, but I guess Migraine simply because it's my favorite.

        Commentary: Most of the time I see my past answer as I read the question since they're right next to each other, but since this answer was a block of text I had that thought before seeing the answer, haha.

17. Least Favorite Song

        Current Answer: Two

        Past Answer: House of Gold

        Commentary: The fact that I ever put House of Gold at the very bottom is kind of insane. I know it took a serious dip, but I didn't know it was that bad. Bounce Man really should be at the bottom of my list, but Two can actively make me feel anxious during parts of the song (even though other parts are simply beautiful and peaceful -- it's a very weird song), so it takes it for me.

        (Side note: This is not including RAB songs that have Vessel versions; I always use the Vessel versions for all rankings and such)

18. Have you seen them live?

        Current Answer: I have not. Honestly not sure why I haven't prioritized it more considering how big of a role they've played in my life.

        Past Answer: No :( But it's not like I've tried too hard to do so. I know a couple people who have. And I have in one of my dreams.

        Commentary: I sadly no longer recall this dream.

19. Which rap verse is my favorite?

        Current Answer: The Holding On To You rap probably still.

        Past Answer: The Holding On To You rap I mentioned.

        Commentary: Just a few months ago (notably before Breach came out) my family asked me what my favorite lyric was from Twenty One Pilots. I thought of this blog post from 7 years ago and answered "I'm not sure about lyric, but my favorite rap is the Holding On To You rap." 

        It's still probably true to this day, but I'd have to look around some more if I wanted to confirm for sure. The rap meant more to me and was more relevant to me/my mental state in the past, so there's a chance something else is more personal to me now.

20. Favorite chorus?

        Current Answer: Okay, I gave a cop-out answer last time, so I'll at least try to come up with something. After a couple minutes of glancing around songs, I'm going to go with the potentially recency bias pick of Center Mass. Golly, I don't know why but it's so good.

        Past Answer: I have no idea

21. Favorite album?

        Current Answer: Gotta give it to my king Vessel for now. I visited this question in a blog post you can find here about a year and a half ago, and it's still fairly accurate to how I feel.

        Past Answer: Regional at Best

        Commentary: Like I referenced somewhere above, my opinions on songs in RAB have gone down throughout the years. Found an old blog post of mine that talked about why RAB was my favorite. Full post here (important part is the last big paragraph). I had a lowkey based take, but, uhhhh, gotta disagree now. 

22. Least favorite album?

        Current Answer: Honestly probably Regional at Best -- don't tell my past self that.

        Past Answer: Blurryface

        Commentary: Curious how much Blurryface dipped in my personal ratings simply because it was popular. But at the same time, kind of a based take to have RAB and Self-Titled above Blurryface (and Vessel > Blurryface as well, but that take is more common. RAB/Self-Titled vs Blurryface is much more mixed in opinions, I think).

23. Most emotional album?

        Current Answer: Is No Phun Intended a legal answer? If not, then, yeah, probably Self-Titled

        Past Answer: Self-Titled

        Commentary: Seriously, almost every song on No Phun Intended makes me immediately feel all the things.

24. Own any of the albums?

        Current Answer: Trench, Scaled and Icy, Clancy, and Breach

        Past Answer: All that are accessible. So, Vessel and Blurryface

        Commentary: I just realized -- I never owned a copy of Vessel and Blurryface, hahaha. Not sure why I said I owned them in that blog post. Hannah owns Blurryface and I would love to own them both, but I don't, haha.

25. Song I want them to cover?

        Current Answer: Some old random cool song that I know; I have no idea. No real interest in them doing covers (but of course would love them anyway if any did happen). Would loooooove them covering their own songs -- specifically RAB if that's possible (aka would loooooove RAB remake pls pls pls).

        Past Answer: Something by Bastille simply because they're my second favorite artist

        Commentary: Half Alive is now my second favorite artist probably; Bastille is a great pick though. Matthew Mole is up there as well contending for #2 I think.

26. Song you listen to the most?

        Current Answer: Uhhh, maybe Next Semester? From newest album (not counting singles that I listened to on repeat before the album came out) probably Center Mass?

        Past Answer: Probably The Pantaloon

27. Own any merch?

        Current Answer: I guess I technically own a yellow bandana I got with the Trench album.

        Past Answer: Nope, because I rarely wear any clothing with words/pictures on them. That's an entirely different discussion

        Commentary: I've gotten to a point where I can but don't frequently wear clothing with words/pictures on them. Twenty One Pilots is sufficiently important to me that I would wear merch if I had it. I'm still picky though, so only some of their merch.

28. Favorite Lyrics?

        Current Answer: This piece from Rawfear has been wiggling in my brain (in a good way): "Learning all that really matters is a slow and painful lesson / It is not pass or fail, but a poisonous progression / Try to micro-dose to immunity, but you'll never, ever get it", but like with the favorite rap, I'd really have to search to confirm it for sure. But right at this moment, it's that.

        Past Answer: That Holding On To You rap

29. Truce or Goner

        Current Answer: Truce

        Past Answer: Goner

        Commentary: The new song Intentions made me fall more in love with Truce. I think historically Truce and Goner have been pretty close on my rankings -- on The Line Update version, Goner is barely beating Truce out by 4 spots. In my upcoming tier list Truce will definitely be on top.

29a (Alternate Similar Question) Favorite Closer?

        Paladin Strait

30. Ode to Sleep or Heavydirtysoul?

        Current Answer: Ode to Sleep

        Past Answer: Ode to Sleep

        Commentary: Ode to Sleep is peak.

30a (Alternate Similar Question) Favorite Opener?

        Gaaahhhh, City Walls or Ode to Sleep, I don't knoooooow. You'll have to wait for the tier list, I refuse to decide right now.

My Favorite Books by Brandon Sanderson (a Tier List)

        It's here! Can't believe I didn't do this sooner. I made a tier list of my favorite books in general back in Oct 2022 (which you can find here), but I refrained from adding most of Brandon Sanderson's works since it had been so many years since I had read many of them. On top of that, Brandon has also released, like, 10 books since I wrote that post, so there's a lot to add.

        Important Note: This is my favorites and is reflective of my experience with them, not what I think is the best nor what the books I would suggest the highest. Obviously my experience with them is going to be strongly correlated with how good I think they are, but this is not always the case.
        Prime example: I don't actually think that Allomancer Jak is a better book/short story than Rhythm of War even though it's two spots higher. I just simply had a good time when I read it last and thought it was cute and so I put it in the "Like" tier. Versus Rhythm of War I feel generally meh about, so I put it in the "It's Fine" tier.

        Okay, so I don't want this post to accidentally turn into 'Give my thoughts on every book I've ever read by Brandon Sanderson', but I did want to make write about a few things.

        Three Small Notes To Start

        Legion represents all three Novellas combined.
        I think the main reason I didn't like Legion: Death and Faxes was because the narrator's voice wasn't my favorite.
        The Eleventh Metal surprised me this reread; I really enjoyed it and thought it worked great as a prequel.

        Lux

        Lux almost assuredly is good enough to make it much higher on this list than the spot it landed on (the bottom of "It's Fine"). I started listening to the book expecting it to be to be a novella length, like, 3-6 hours long. I was trying to blitz listen to the book, not paying the greatest attention to exposition/character backstory/things in general since I thought it would be done soon. Just a simple little listen. Well, after getting quite a few hours deep into the story I realized that it was actually 15 hours long in total. I was not mentally prepared for that. I still wanted to finish it and I just kept listening to it even during times I couldn't fully focus on it.
        These incorrect expectations for what the book was going into it really ended up ruining what could have been a much better experience, I think.

        A thought on rereads and why The Hero of Ages remains my favorite book

        Question: What's the most important read-through of a book, the first or any other past that? I really think the first. Many books you're not even going to reread in the first place. On top of that, surprises/twists/revelations can only be experienced fully on the first read-through.
        (An aside here because I think it's interesting: Music I think is the inverse: You can listen to a song so many times and thus the 100th listen experience is much more important than the first imo.)

        I think this factor is relevant in making this tier list. In certain cases, I give some amount of weight to my first read-through of a book. The prime example of this is The Hero of Ages. For many many years now I have said that it's my favorite book and that continues to this day. But for the past couple readthroughs of the Mistborn trilogy, I've actually been preferring Book 1. Same with various Stormlight books, my most recent rereads of Stormlight 1-3 were all a better experience compared to my most recent reread of The Hero of Ages.
        But, and this is a big but, my first readthrough of The Hero of Ages is by far and away my favorite individual readthrough of any book ever. I. Love. That. Book. And it remains my favorite book of all time.

        None of my other first read-through opinions shine nearly as brightly as Hero of Ages, but it is relevant in much smaller ways in a couple parts of my tier list.

        Dreamer

        I read Dreamer for the first time just recently. It's been worming in my brain, and I like it more and more the more I think about it. I went in knowing nothing about it, which I think was important for the experience, so try to go in blind if you can. It's only 20-pages or so long and worth the quick read in my opinion. I have a copy I could lend if anybody is curious.

        Skyward Flight

        Okay, I don't know why I loved the Skyward Flight stories as much as I did, but I really enjoyed them. Should they be put above the likes of Isles of Emberdark, The Well of Ascension, and Tress? Probably not, but, like for some reason I was just having a blast the whole time when I read them, and you'll notice they're my 2nd favorite thing from the Skyward series. I'm not really planning on ever rereading the series because I didn't like the 2nd or 3rd book, though.
        The three are unsorted amongst themselves -- they all blur in my head.

        Emperor's Soul

        Reread this for the first time in a long while and it was simply a delight. Deservedly earned spot #5. Highly recommend, especially if you want something shorter (it's only 100ish pages).

TØP Rap Statistics (Breach and The Line update)

Old Statistics can be found here: https://whateveriwant7.blogspot.com/2024/06/tp-rap-statistics.html

        So the stats here are how many songs by Twenty One Pilots have rap in them and how many don't. I just find it interesting and fun and cool.

        First: Update to previous decisions on previous songs. 

        After consideration, Bandito has been moved to the non-rap category. 

        And Not Today (already time-stamped for the section in question) is still the biggest question mark, but I decided to leave it in the Rap section for now.

        In the previous statistics, there were more songs with rap than without. But 10 out of the 14 songs in Breach do not contain rap, and The Line doesn't contain rap either. This means non-rap has taken the majority.

Here's the stats:

October 2025 Journal Entry

Hades II

        Well, if last month was the month of Silksong, then this month... wasn't really the month of Hades II. I was fully expecting it to be, but it didn't turn out so. I mean, I still spent some time with it (partly in September, to be fair -- it came out September 25th), got to an ending and had fun. But, like, a third of the time compared to Silksong and a quarter of the time compared to Stardew Valley.

        I'm not sure why I didn't like it as much as Hades I. I can recognize the game is great, but idk.

Books

        Got a lot of reading done! Read Isles of Emberdark, reread tons of some of Brandon Sanderson's smaller works, read some of his smaller works for the first time, got around to rereading Hank Green's An Absolutely Remarkable Thing so I could read its sequel A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor.

        Good stuff.

Scheduled out Blogposts and Such

        I referenced last month that I wrote tons of blogposts that I hadn't published yet and that I'd be posting them once per week. Since then I have polished several of them up, made a specific schedule for them, and had a couple more ideas to add into the mix. Most of them are already written, but a few of them are still being worked on (ex. obviously this post alongside the November and December journal entries can't be written until they can. My Twenty One Pilots Tier List is also still a WIP alongside spoilers).

Exercised/Used Exercise Unlocked

        Exercise Unlocked (more specifically, the Loot Boxes you could buy with Sweat Coin that Ryan, Angeles, and I made) got me motivated to exercise a lot more this month than I normally do. It's been great, feeling good. A lot of push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, and squats in the first half of the month, then I kind of transitioned back into playing Pickleball every chance I get.

        Although use of Exercise Unlocked has declined throughout the month (which I'm perfectly fine with; I had no expectations for how long lived it would be), it was great fun to play around with it. 

        It was fun to do just a few more jumping jacks so I could have just enough Sweat Coin to buy another Loot Box. Fun to talk about the meta of Ryan's game he made. Fun to try to collect every family member's trading card and decorate my page. To look at the creative things others did on their pages, look at adorable Melody Inspirational Stickers. Just good fun all around. And maybe it'll spike back up in use at some point, who knows.

Interviews!!!

        Huge progress in terms of my job hunt. Feel very blessed and fortunate. Did many interviews this month for two different jobs, and I think I did really well! Feeling great about the chances I have to get one or both offers. Either opportunity would be wonderful; they're both jobs I really want, so I'm excited for whatever happens. I finished my last round with one of the companies and still have one left with the other.

        Maybe next month I'll return and report that I got neither. I would be very quite sad. But I'm rather hopeful that will not be the case.

Misc.

        Scrabble playing continued 🔥. Dressed up as Kristofferson alongside Hannah as Ashe from Fantastic Mr. Fox for Halloween (Lucas and Hannah did it first -- I just stole Lucas's costume) 🦊. The NBA season has started up again, which I seem to get more and more invested into every year 🏀. Oh, yeah, I had my 25th birthday, lowkey forgot about that for a second 🎂. Thought about writing many times but never did so 🖉.

Breakdown of "Creation Thawing"

        In this blogpost I talk about the poem "Creation Thawing" that I wrote. You can find that poem here, but it will also be copied and pasted throughout as I talk about specific sections:

Link

A Brief Forward

        So after writing that poem and this breakdown, I started watching some poetry content on youtube. Fascinating stuff which kind of made me feel like my poem is bad. Which it is on the grand scheme of things, of course. But that's not what matters I think? So regardless of the fact that I can get so much better at writing poetry, I'm proud of the poem that I did write. And obviously if I'm ever to get better at poetry the most important step to doing so is writing more poetry, so there's that.

        Anyway, onto the needlessly obtuse breakdown:

        

Quick Overview

       This poem is about some struggles I have in my creative/creation process. I originally started writing it because I started to freeze up (a topic/theme discussed in the poem). I broke through and in an attempt to describe what I was feeling and the thoughts I was having about what I was going through, I started writing short lines for a poem. After iterations, those lines became this poem.

        In its middle stages of creation, the poem was actually structured as a set of three poems that were meant to be read in conjunction. The first three 'paragraphs' were titled "Creation at a Standby" and then later "Creation Frozen". The next three 'paragraphs' were titled "Creation at a Crawl" and later "Creation Thawing". Then the last three 'paragraphs' I simply labeled as "Creation", but I never felt that title was the one I wanted it to have.

        It was actually this struggle with the third title that led me to simply remove the separation altogether and conjoin them into one poem. I think the three separate but connected poem idea is cool. It came about because the structure of what I was writing flowed within the sets of three paragraphs, and specific ideas were tackled by each section. 

        Although now one poem, their structures and specific ideas are still split across the 3 sections which I'll be calling the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Sections.

My Personal Meaning to the Poem

1st Section

It's easier to do nothing than something

So nothing often happens

It's easier to stop than finish

So stop often happens

It's easier to consume than create

So consume often happens

Such easy dopamine

The things I truly want lay on the wayside

So many choices 

The things I do make me feel like I am missing another

Ice creeps through my veins

So I sit in paralysis

        As referenced before, this section was originally titled "Creation at a Standby" and later "Creation Frozen" because this section simply states my struggle with no offer of hope, solution, or alternative.

        The first paragraph is talking about how creating something can be difficult for me. It's easier for me to never start or to stop than it is for me to create anything at all. It's easier for me to simply watch youtube videos ("consume").

        Paragraph two expands on this. "Such easy dopamine" is a reference to that "It's easier to consume than create". It's so easy for me to simply open up youtube, find a random video to watch, spend x amount of time doing that, rinse and repeat. But often I walk away from watching that video feeling like I didn't really want to watch it. That the primary reason why I watched it was simply because it was a convenient, easy way to distract my brain, and I would choose to do something else if I could go back and change that decision. 

        Nuance nuance here: Obviously youtube can be a wonderful place full of goodness in a variety of ways -- and it often is that for me. But other times it leads to, well, me wasting time. And, slightly different note, obviously living in a constant state of "I have to be doing the optimal thing at all times and if I don't do that than I'm constantly regretting my use of time" is not healthy, and I hope I'm not invertedly promoting that mindset here. It's a balance between recognizing that I want to do something differently while not beating myself up over it etc. etc. Fighting off unhealthy mindsets/fears is part of what Section 2 focuses on. 

        In this poem "things I truly want" is referencing creating things, working on creative projects or other things such as blog posts, various youtube video ideas, an app/video game idea, Auzzy Quite Liked Her Name, alongside other things I want to do including mission journal transcriptions, other writing projects, and reading.

        

        "So many choices" is referencing how sometimes when I go to do something, my mind is bombarded with all the other things I also want to be doing. It makes me feel, well, it makes me feel like what paragraph 3 says. In this case, "So many choices" is not only referring to the "things I truly want", but is also referencing tons of random small things that my brain says I need to get to. 

        "When's the last time you talked to x friend or y family member?", "You still need to read some scriptures today, are you sure you should be doing this instead?", "You've been meaning to post a life update on facebook for years now, you really should get on that.", and then the ever present "You don't have a job, why are you doing anything else besides attempting to find a job."

        I hate this bombardment of thoughts, and although those sentences aren't exactly what goes on in my brain (but is more just an attempt of trying to get the idea across), these thoughts weigh me down at times. Sometimes it's better and sometimes worse, of course. The worst offender by far is the ever present thought at the end, which I'm trying to get a healthier mindset around.

        

        All these thoughts can send me into a state of paralysis. A petrified state where it feels so difficult to act because it feels like I won't be able to get to even a fraction of what I want to, so why even try. And even if I do pick one, it wasn't the correct one, that I should be working on something else instead. 

        This is what paragraph 3 talks about. There's a physical sensation of something crawling through my veins in my arms, freezing them in place. This is where the idea of the 'ice' throughout the poem comes from. This is also where the poem gets its name.

2nd Section

So afraid of failing while creating

So afraid of creating something worth nothing

But perhaps the attempt itself has intrinsic value

So afraid of choosing one over another

So afraid of wasting that potential

But perhaps they can all be done, one by one

I'm afraid of wasting

I'm afraid of freezing

But perhaps I need only to try

        The last line in each paragraph is fighting off the fears. In this section, my fight back against this ice/paralysis begins. This is why this section was originally titled "Creation at a Crawl" and later "Creation Thawing". 

        Paragraph 4 (aka, paragraph 1 in this section) talks about how I'm scared that I'll struggle and fail while creating -- struggling and failing is hard. It'd be so easy if I could just make something fantastic immediately, but that's not how it works. It then talks about how I'm scared that even if I do manage to create something, that it won't be worthwhile. 

        These fears are fought back by the thought that perhaps the attempt itself is worth something. That even if I fail or even if I create something that ends up being thrown away the next day, that that effort was not wasted.

        Paragraph 5 talks more about the idea of how when I choose one thing "I truly want", I feel I won't be able to get to (and therefore waste the potential of) another thing "I truly want". These fears are combatted by the thought that perhaps they can all be done if I just take them one at a time. 

        The thing is (although I don't like to remind myself of this fact), I don't even know if that's true. The "But perhaps" is in there for a reason. Can I really do all the things?

        But the thought helps me focus. It helps me calm down and just pick one thing to do rather than be overwhelmed by how many things I want to do.

        Paragraph 6 encompasses all these ideas. I'm afraid of wasting. Wasting my time. Wasting these great ideas I feel I have. Letting my friendships waste away. I'm afraid of freezing. I'm afraid of having all these things paralyze me into a state where I do nothing at all (which, I'll note here, is different than a state of relaxing or taking a break).

        These fears are combatted by the thought that perhaps I need only to try.

        Using the word 'I' in this paragraph made it feel more personal and real for me. It's the last paragraph in the section; this slight change up makes that work better, I feel. It focuses in on the fact that this poem isn't just about anyone's fears, but they're mine. And these "But perhaps" thoughts lead me to having a healthier mindset around them.

3rd Section

When the ice starts to form

And my brain starts to short circuit

I'll heed those voices not

And channel this desire strong

I'll focus on a thing I want

And create it

        This last section finishes the poem with a declaration of what I want and will try to do when these struggles come.

        The "brain starts to short circuit" references another sensation that commonly comes alongside the ice (although do not always appear together). My brain just starts to shut down is the simplest way of putting it. I could go much more in-depth about this, and perhaps I will another time depending.

        "I'll heed those voices not" is referencing 1 Nephi 8:33. "But we heeded them not" is a powerful phrase to me. "Those voices" is referencing all the fears and things I discussed throughout the rest of the poem.

        "And channel this desire strong" is referencing this deep desire I have in my heart to create and work on these things. It pushes me to make, to create.

        In the last paragraph, my use of the word 'a' here is intentional. 'The' would perhaps imply that there's only one right choice of thing to work on, and there's only one thing I want at any given time, which isn't true. 'a' pulls back to the idea of doing things 'one by one'.